Comic Con: Not Just For Dorks Anymore

I've never been to Comic Con, and as far as I know, about 99% of women are in the same boat as me. At least they were, until Twilight came along. Now, poor pimple faced comic book geeks everywhere are having to share the one weekend a year where they all come together to celebrate their love of comics with crazy ass Twilight fans.

Honestly, how many of the Comic Con "regulars" do you think have ever actually come in contact with a teeny bopper (besides their way cooler younger sisters - what makes them so cool? Damn them!) let alone thousands of screaming psychos all hell bent of getting a close up of RPattz or Taylor Whatshisgayface? I bet those boys are shaking in their Watchmen outfits! Poor things.

Anyway, here's a video some Twimom (yeah, I know) took of she and her fellow crazies going bonkers over new clips from the Twilight: New Moon movie. This shit looks fucking ridiculous, but although I'm not quite as crazy as these ladies, you bet your sweet ass I'll be there opening night!

Ron Weasley Has Silver Eyelashes?

I love the Harry Potter books. And I even liked this last movie (though don't get me started on pretty much all of the others). And we all know how obsessed I can get with certain movies (mainly ones starring RPattz). But even I am blown away by this Harry Potter fan.

I've always found Japanese people to be... eccentric, but this girl takes the crazy cake. When she smelled his eyelashes I nearly peed myself. Imagine what she'd be like if she met Daniel Radcliff. She'd probably coyly ask to smell some more personal part of him... ew.

Enjoy.

NO! Not Paula!!

Okay, yeah, I'll admit it. I watch American Idol. Not all the time! Just, you know, when I remember (and if I forget I watch the performances on the internets and squeal like an idiotic teenager).

I know it's a bad show, but have you ever seen it? If you watch for no other reason, at least you have to tune in to see Paula Abdul making an ass out of her drugged up self every week. That woman in sincerely pilled up and bat shit crazy, man. And we all love her for it!

Well, all of us besides the bastards at American Idol. Apparently Paula is not being invited back to judge this upcoming season!

WHAT???

I know!! LAME! Without her incomplete sentences, babbling "compliments", and embarrassing gyrating to the really rockin' songs, the show is pretty much BORING. And I'm guessing they're replacing her with that stick figure moron lady Kara Diowhatever, so that'll be totally lame and uninteresting.

Kara Diolamesauce is like Paula if she stopped taking the drugs and actually tried to sound smart and/or make sense. Which means she is both incredibly annoying and totally fucking boring.

Anyway, I'm going to go listen to some Paula Abdul and remember the good times. FU AI!!

HA!

That's really all I say can about this photo. That and a woman was driving, which is ironic considering the sexual implications of this picture... ladies is nastay too!

These People Need Help

For those of you who think I'm obsessed with the lameness that is Twilight, take a look at these freaks. And also, screw you! I'm only obsessed with RPattz, thank you very much.

And even so, you better believe I'd never get his Twilight character's face permanently etched on my ass. I draw the line at choking down those awful books... fucking Mormons...


Thanks Angelina

Eternal Moonwalk

People are doing all sorts of cool (and totally ridiculous) things to honor the late Michael Jackson (and I'm posting about nearly all of them, and no, I won't stop). This website is just another example of how important MJ was to the world, especially in terms of his dancing.

People the world over are sending in videos of themselves looking like assholes as they try to mimic MJ's famous Moonwalk... some of them are closer than others, but they all seems to have one thing in common: their hands! They all look like either mini T Rex's or mimes on crack.

Dancing isn't just about your feet, people. Come on! Get those hands under control. And the dude in Hong Kong needs to remove his video before he becomes the next William Hung...

Click here to check out what I'm rambling about... and check out the video above to see how it's really done.

Amy Winehouse Returns to London; Leaves Drugs, Fashion Sense in St. Lucia

Whoa whoa, Amy Winehouse. First, let me say it's nice to see you back in London, ready to face charges of beating up some poor loving fan and maybe, maybe working some more on a new album (hey, I'm still a fan for sure).

That being said, what in the name of JcPenny's dollar sale are you wearing? I mean, come on! Okay, okay, the white pumps aren't terrible (by comparison, anyway) but the onesy diamond dress?

And hi, nice hair! Okay, that a low blow, I know, but there was a point when she had it all! I mean, she was a crack smoking anorexic with a crazy dirtbag husband, but she looked pretty fucking cool. And while I'm glad she got rid of the drugs/Blaaaake, did she have to throw out her wardrobe as well? Maybe there was crack residue or something in the fibers...

Either way, the next step should not have been to turn into an ill dressed wannabe business woman... just saying...

Let's All Move to Sweden!

What would you do if you were in a public place and this happened? I personally would swear never to leave such a wonderful place... or get out my camera. Whatever. Although, if I lived in Sweden I probably wouldn't want to leave anyway... I hear it's pretty dope. And this is just further proof of that...



Anyway, this will most likely be my last posting relating to MJ for a while, so let me just say this: yes, I watched the memorial, and yes, I cried. Like a little baby. And I'm not ashamed. And if I could dance (even a little bit, which I can't) I would totally partake in this awesomeness...

These Pictures Will Blow You Mind

If you've ever read my blog you are more than aware of my deep, pure love for Robert Pattinson. Many nights I have fallen asleep to the beautiful sounds of Twilight on my TV screen and dozed off to wonderful dreams of Edward Cullen transfixing me with his vampirey gaze...

Not until I looked upon the beauty of this guy right here did I ever think there could be another vampire man so beautiful, so stunning, as RPattz. But this man, no, this total babe, has changed my mind. See below, and be sure to click the link for more of this beauty. Really, click the link and you'll see a picture that got an entire house full of people nearly rolling on the floor. Amazing stuff, kids...

Sarah Palin Should Take Her Own Dumb Asshole Advice

As we all have undoubtedly heard by now, Sarah Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska this week, citing "political bloodsport" as one of her reasons for leaving.

First of all, can I just say that I have a strong suspicion somebody got some dirt on this crooked bitch? I really think that's what's going on here, because someone so completely soulless and power hungry as Palin wouldn't just leave office if she wasn't in some way forced to do so.

My only other guess is that she got some sort of lame celebrity deal that would make her a whole lot more money than what she's currently doing... but even then, would she trade the power for more money? I just don't know... either way, though, it's worth celebrating her departure. Crazy fucking jerk that she is.

Anyway, so she's up there complaining to the media about how hard the media is, blah blah blah, yet back in the day when Hilary said something along the same lines, this is what Palin had to say about it:



Maybe that dumb asshole ought to take her own advice, huh? But then again, I guess in a way she did. Either shit or get off the pot... and away that turd goes...

Don't Fuck With This Pussy

This pussy is 19 years old and will kick your ass! No, not that kind of pussy. Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm obviously talking about a cat.

Neighbors of this old ass dude say his old ass cat is a danger to those in the neighborhood. One man said the cat attacked him while he was walking his dogs, forcing him to the ground.

Seriously? WHAT A PUSSY. Pun intended. How are you going to let a geriatric feline knock you to the ground? That guy was obviously pushing for a lawsuit before he saw the cat's owner was Old Man Winter and probably had no money. Knocked him to the ground! No wonder he didn't give an on camera interview.

Anyway, check out the video below. Sadly, there's no cat attacks, but you get to see this old ass cat and his old ass owner, and really, what else have you got going on?

RIP Michael Jackson

I know it's been a really long time since I posted, but life's been crazy lately... I promise to blog more. Honest.

Anyway, I knew that I had to post something about Michael Jackson's death or I would never forgive myself. He was such a huge part of my childhood, from Thriller to Captain EO, and I never realized how much I would be affected by his death.

Despite all the media drama in his life, I truly believe Michael tried his best to be a good person, and that his childlike demeanor led him to do some truly wonderful things. For one, he's in the Guiness book of World Records for being the celebrity who contributed to the most charities (39), including many he himself created, most of which are for children.

Michael never really got to grow up, but because of his music and his talent my childhood was a better, more interesting place. Who doesn't remember the cat eyes from the end of the Thriller video? Or his Smooth Criminal video? Or Man in the Mirror? And the moonwalk? Shit.

He was amazing, and I miss him more than I ever thought I would. I just hope his last days were good ones, because I think he deserved it.

I'm happy to say that I am not alone in my feelings about Michael. Check out this video below of the Filipino prisoners who got famous recreating Thriller a few years ago. They paid tribute the King of Pop through song and dance yet again, and this one's a bit of a tear jerker...



RIP Michael

Conan O'Brien Loves Mario Maybe Even More Than I Do...

I'm a huge video game fan, and especially old arcade games (anyone ever see me play Ms Pacman?) or anything on Nintendo.

Super Mario Bros is an obvious favorite of mine, but not even I noticed the background of the new Tonight Show as being from Super Mario himself.

I'd like to think that Conan chose that background himself, but even if he didn't, the fact that he delivers his monologue each night in front on something straight out of my childhood gets him some crazy points in my book. And two things to whoever noticed this first:

1. Thanks, that's awesome, and
2. Get a Life!!

Peaches is a Fucking Sav!

She is so savage. Seriously, how fucking hot are these pictures? Damn it!

I wish I had bigger pictures, but I can't find any besides on Perez Hilton, and fuck taking those (he puts his little website symbol on them now... how cute).

Anyway, Peaches is so awesome. That is all


PS. DAVID CARRADINE'S death was probably due to auto-erotic asphyxiation... crazy!

No! LAME!

The Kung Fu Master himself, David Carradine, has died! There are conflicting reports as to what happened, but it sounds like it could have possibly been suicide.

(I will not make a five point palm exploding technique joke here, promise).

He was 72, so it wasn't like he was a spring chicken, but still, it sucks when people die, and especially when really awesome kung fu masters die.

RIP, Bill.

Suck on an Old Man's Titties

Okay, he's not really that old, but Daniel Craig sure looks like a wrinkly bad of shit in popsicle form. I mean, seriously, they've got the abs rights, but what's up with the face?

And why are they making a Daniel Craig popsicle in the first place?

I guess a bunch of horny British women said they'd suck his abs if put in edible form (I'm sure they'd suck whatever he wanted them to, but this is about as close as the average woman is going to get I'm sure).

These hot little (grand)pops will only be on sale until June 8th or something, so if you want them better get to England quick! Otherwise you'll have to make your own old man sicles (and that could get even uglier than this)...

They've Ruined Him!

When I see pictures of Robert Pattinson my mind goes to a happy place where there are no clothes allowed. When I see him shirtless it's no longer my mind doing the work (wink, wink). So you can imagine how excited I was to see his topless pictures from the upcoming Twilight film... until I saw this shit.



Look at that shit! They painted on his abs! What the hell is that shit about? Why would they ruin such a beautiful flower of a man with fake muscles?? Especially since he looks like he'd look just fine on his own...

It's like taking a perfect diamond and setting it in a fucking cracker jack ring! Damn it!!

Even so... rawr.

Phyllis Lyon says it will all be alright...

Well, California, it's official: you suck. I'm not going to go crazy here talking about how disappointing it is to see hatred written into our law books (not that this is something new. But still...) but I will repost something from the LA Times written by Phyllis Lyon, one half of the first gay couple to be married in San Francisco (thank you Gavin Newsom). It's an interesting take on the issue, and preaches patience in the face of adversity. Good shit. When an 84 year old widowed lesbian tells you it will all be alright, how can you argue?

From the LA Times:

On Feb. 12, 2004, more than 50 years after they met and fell in love, Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin were married, the first gay couple legally wed in San Francisco after Mayor Gavin Newsom announced that he would allow same-sex marriages in his city. Six months later, that marriage was voided when the California Supreme Court ruled that Newsom had overstepped his authority. When the court ruled in 2008 that gays had a right to marry under the state Constitution, Lyon and Martin returned to San Francisco City Hall, where, on June 16, Newsom performed a second wedding for the two. Martin died in August, before California voters passed Proposition 8, a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage once again. In early May, as the state waited for the court to rule on the legality of Proposition 8, we asked Lyon, now 84, to recall her life with Martin.



Del and I met on the job up in Seattle in about 1950. We were both working for a publishing company.

One night, Del and I and another woman decided to go and have a cocktail at the press club. We were sitting there yakking and somehow got on the topic of homosexuality. I had no clue about lesbians at that point. I had never even heard the word. My other friend, Pat, didn't know any more about the subject than I did. Finally, one of us asked Del, "How come you know so much about this subject"? She said, "Because I am one."

Well, that was very interesting.

Some months later, Del and I were in my apartment. We were sitting on the couch in the living room when she made a sort-of half-pass at me, and I made a pass back. That was the first time I'd ever had sex with a woman. I didn't fall madly in love instantly. But I really liked Del as a person.

After I moved back to San Francisco, she started coming down from Seattle more. She asked me if I'd consider becoming a couple. I said, gee whiz, I didn't know. I really hadn't thought about settling down.

She went back to Seattle, but we kept in touch. At some point, I thought, why not? It's not necessarily forever. I drove out to the ocean and sat there and wrote a note to her saying that if she still wanted to, I'd like to get together with her in San Francisco. It turns out that, at about the same time, one of her friends in Seattle said, "Why don't you just drop that dame, she's never going to go with you." Del was seriously thinking about dropping me when she got my letter.

I rented a small apartment for us on Castro Street. It wasn't a gay neighborhood back then. We had some problems getting along in the beginning. Both of us had been living alone for a long time, and we weren't used to having to think about another person. She kept leaving her shoes in the middle of the living room, and this annoyed me. One time I threw one out into the backyard. That didn't help.

At some point, a friend gave us a kitten, and I've always said that's what kept us together that first year: We couldn't split up because we couldn't figure out how to divide the kitten.

This was a time when you didn't talk about being a lesbian. You'd get fired. But I said when I went to work full time at an import-export firm that I wasn't going to lie. I wouldn't make up men that I was dating.

After a couple of years, we wanted to move someplace quieter. One day, we were driving along and saw a house for sale, and the man wanted $11,000 for it. We didn't have any savings. We were both making maybe $300 or $400 a month, and that's not much. But we just knew we had to have that house. We got it -- with its wonderful view.

The one thing we couldn't find was lesbians. We wanted to meet other lesbians, so we had been going to the bars, but we were too shy to go up and introduce ourselves. Then, at an after-hours party, we met a lesbian, and we got a chance to talk to her.

A few months later, she asked if we'd be interested in helping start a highly secret society for lesbians. We said, of course. That was the beginning of our involvement in the whole movement. We were supposed to recruit others, but Del and I didn't know any other lesbians. We did finally that first year get a few members, but it was very difficult. You couldn't advertise in the paper.

Del and I had full lives. We were both Democrats, and from the time we got together we were involved with the Democratic Party here in the city. We used to sit around with Nancy Pelosi and stuff envelopes. And we knew Phil Burton and his brother, John Burton, and Phil's wife, Sala, who took Phil's spot in Congress when he died.

We never even thought about getting married back then. It didn't become an issue for a long time -- in fact, it never was much of an issue for us. The gay rights movement was new, and there were so many other issues. We wanted a law that would keep people from getting fired because they were gay. We wanted a law that made it illegal to throw people out of their houses because they were gay. We were feminists, and a lot of the feminist movement was opposed to marriage because the institution gave men power over women. We hadn't really thought about marriage, and we'd certainly never thought about getting married ourselves. It wasn't an option.

Then, in 2004, it all bubbled up. A day or so before Mayor Newsom announced that San Francisco would allow marriages, we got a call saying we were going to be the first couple. I don't know that anybody asked us. It was just, you're going to do this. They had picked us to be the first couple.

Kate Kendell [executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights] came over and picked us up. Luckily, each of us had just gotten a new pantsuit. Kate whisked us down to City Hall and into Mabel Teng's office. She was the recorder, and she was the one who was going to do the wedding. We realized we didn't have rings. Who'd thought about rings? We borrowed them.

Teng married us. Then Kate took us upstairs to Newsom's office -- we'd never met him before -- and he kissed us and hugged us, and then Kate whisked us past the reporters outside City Hall and into the car and took us home. We got home around noon. We looked at each other and said, "We're all dressed up, what are we going to do?" I said, "I don't know, but there's not a damn thing in the house for lunch." So we went down to our favorite restaurant by the waterfront. It was all very peaceful and calm.

It didn't really surprise us when the court stopped the marriages. We thought it was pretty stupid and that they'd be sorry one day. We became part of the suit challenging California's ban on gay marriage.

By the time the Supreme Court ruled again that gay marriage was legal, we were more involved in the issues. We were once again the first couple married in San Francisco.

Del died a few months later, before Proposition 8 passed. She died a married woman. As far as I know, we're still married. They haven't ruled yet about the people who got married, but most people think they're not going to cancel those marriages.

I'm optimistic about the future. Look at all the states that have now done this. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. They may not all last. But it's going to be all right. It may not be while I'm alive, but eventually it will work out that if two people want to get married, they can get married and it won't matter to whom. We went through this before with people of color. It will be OK.

Bye Bye, Penis

The other day my friends and I were talking about dicks. Well, one of us was talking about dicks, and the other two were listening attentively (conversations about dicks always get my attention...)

Anyway, she kept calling the man part in question a penis, like she was a doctor or some shit. She's kinda a newbie with dicks. so we laughed about it and forgave her, but that shit was funny!

But, speaking of penises, some cheating boss/secretary duo got majorly caught cheating when the car they were having 'the oral' in got backed into by a van and the woman bit the man's penis off!

Now this is some serious shit, and an appropriate time to being calling it a penis (although you could call the guy a dick for cheating).

I guess when this all happened the couple were being followed by a Private I (or, also known as a PRIVATE DICK... hahaha just realized that. AWESOME!) who was hired by the woman's husband to catch the cheating duo.

Shit, you know it was the husband driving that van! Ultimate scorned lover's revenge! But the boss gets the last laugh here... now the secretary will never get that raise she was 'working' for! Waah Waah Waaaaaaahhhh!

ps. I want this DVD. For reals.

Part of Our World...

Okay, a show of hands of those who can (or at one point could) sing all the lyrics to all the songs on Disney's The Little Mermaid. Yeah, it's okay, be proud! You are not alone.

But, if that movie was a part of your childhood, prepare to feel dated, because that shit came out 20 years ago! Our lovely teenage Ariel just had her 20 year anniversary this month, and boy do I feel older than I should right now!

And, to make matters worse, Gremlins is celebrating its 25th anniversary! As I say this I am looking at my Mogwai dolls and weeping on the inside. It's sad to think of my childhood toys as vintage, but, well... shit.