Passion for Christ, but Not THAT Kind of Passion

This makes my day... when I'm not such a broke biatch, I'm going to buy at least ten of these shirts... especially the "Ex-Fornicator" shirt (after all, I AM married)...

The real question here, though, is who do you give the "Ex-Slave" shirt to? Even I think that's a little crazy...

Praise Jesus!!

Is It EVER "Reasonable" to Kill Innocent People?

Don't worry Dr! Three of your daughters may be dead, but the government whose soldier's killed them said it was "reasonable" so it's okay! FUCK ISRAEL. Seriously... how can anyone call firing into a residence reasonable, even if shots came "from the area"? Sounds like a load of shit to me, and even if it's true, how does that excuse what happened?

To find out what the hell I'm rambling about, click here.

Long Distance Relationships are for Assholes, Says Self-Righteous Hippie

Okay, so at first I thought this article might be good, but it is based on so much conjecture and self-righteousness that it makes me want to vomit!

So basically, this person is saying that having a long-distance relationship is just horrible for the environment because it causes people to travel a lot more, thereby causing more pollutants to enter our air, water, etc. Okay, that makes sense, right?

But how about this: The lovely "reporter" said that flying between San Francisco and New York 12 times a year (not a whole lot of booty calls, but that's another subject) for this ONE PERSON would create 35 metric tons of Co2 per year... for shame, long-distance lovers! However, upon just a teensy bit of research, I found that a-hole is WRONG! In fact, the total amount of Co2 per person per year would be only about 9.12 tons per year (which is still a lot, but not nearly as much as the hippie said).

What, is the woman traveling in a private jet or something? Because in that case the blogger may be right; otherwise, it's just more sensationalized b.s. trying to scare/shame people into living their lives the way this man wants them to.

Then, this man goes on to postulate about what would happen if they moved closer to one another, but decides they would obviously drive solo to see one another, creating even more Co2 (although I don't have time to debunk this, but I bet it's wrong as well...) I understand the guy is just trying to show FOR EXAMPLE what would happen, but he comes off as just being a jerk with too much time on his hands (and here I am commenting on it... hmm...)

I guess everybody should follow this guys lead. And why stop there? Hey, don't go to work tomorrow because it's bad for the environment! And no vacations either! Travel = evil, people. Unless you're on a bike (fixed-gear, of course).
There's a link to this b.s. below...

http://www.slate.com/id/2202431/?from=rss

The Greatest Invention. Ever. EVER.

I saw it on dlisted.com...


Do you see what this is?? This is amazing! It's a wooden alarm clock made to look like a pig, with a digital clock face, that wakes you with delicious bacon! All you have to do is put a strip of bacon in before you go to bed, and as long as a clever cockroach can't find a way to jimmy the door open, viola! BACON!

It actually starts cooking the bacon ten minutes before the alarm wakes you, so by the time you're up, you've got a hot, crispy, delicious treat waiting for you...

There is no better invention than this. And the craziest part is that three people created this (of course it took that many, it takes many lives and much sacrifice to create something so magnificent) and at least one of them went to school in California. West Side! Now what? The ball is in your court, Japan...

Claire McCaskill is My Hero...

If you're impatient, click ahead to the 50 second mark, but make sure to listen until she asks "what planet are these people from?" because that's obviously the best part. But honestly, they are from the planet Fuck America, We're Getting Paid. Thanks Free Market!!



Special thanks to my daddy for telling me about this awesomeness...!

Since When Did the News of the World Become Reliable?

Seriously, has anyone else noticed all these horrible gossip rags like the National Enquirer and News of the World suddenly becoming legit? I mean, this shit is normally barely one step up from the Weekly World News (Bat Boy Lives!!!), yet wasn't it the Enquirer that busted John Edwards' sleazy ass? And now the f-ing News of the World has ruined our golden boy, Michael Phelps!! Personally, I think it's pretty obvious the boy smokes the ganga. I mean, have you see that goofy ass smile? If that's not drug induced, then he's worse off than I thought.

But seriously, duh! Of course he's getting high, banging ladies (there's that classy word again), and doing whatever the hell else he feels like. And he fucking earned it too! So let the dolphin boy be. He's been through enough. He had to pose for magazines that would then talk about his hot body but totally diss his busted face. And now he's going to be labeled a drug user and probably lose a bunch of endorsements, as well as possibly losing his chance to go to the next Olympics. Which is a total bummer, not only for him, but for America (and you know I care deeply about our National pride)...

And the funny thing is that this picture looks nothing like him! He actually looks kind of hot here, and if a little bong time is what it takes to relax that face into something even relatively easy on the eyes, then I say smoke up hottie!

Someone Made a Funny at a News Station

I don't know how I would handle this as a newscaster, but I can say that this woman had a lot more composure than I think most anyone would have at that moment. This story is pretty sad, but I guess someone at the news station thought they'd lighten the mood a little... I don't want to give it away, so just watch... hilarious!