Why in the name of all that is the 80's would they ever dare make a new Karate Kid?? Is Hollywood really so desperate for story lines that they have to steal from the 80's? (of all eras! For fuck's sake!) Apparently, the answer is yes.
If you want to read the plot of this upcoming turd of a movie, click here, but basically there's a video-game-loving, skateboarding little boy named Dre (yea, fucking Dre) whose mom moves him to China because of the recession (seriously?), where he of course gets beat up, etc. etc. until he is taken under the martial arts wing of a kind old Chinese man, played by... are you ready... Jackie fucking Chan. WHAT THE FUCK?
Poor Pat Morita must be rolling over in his grave.
Really, what's next? I don't even want to list my favorite 80's movies on here for fear I'll jinx them into shitty remakes, but I swear to GOD if they touch the Goonies... heads will roll!
I'm just glad my brothers don't read my blog (jerks) because I hate to see grown men cry.
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