You Can't Bleed a Turnip

Sorry for the delay in blogging... my body got it's ass beat by a flu the last few days... but I'm back! And with a story about MC Hammer, no less.

Some suckers over a Simon and Schuster paid Hammer to write a book years ago, and, as we all know because it's not on all of our bookshelves with multiple dog-earned pages (because you know Hammer's got some great anecdotes we'd want quick access to), that shit never came out. Hammer, if you can hear me: That is NOT too legit, buddy.

Now, according to the New York Daily News, these geniuses are actually trying to sue Hammer! I guess they gave him a $61,000 advance for that shit, which was supposed to be entitled "Enemies of the Father: A Message from the Heart On Being a Family Man."

WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously, you ask MC Hammer, the man in the genie pants with 4,000 of his closest friends and family members dancing on stage like crazy people, to write a book about being a father? What the hell is wrong with you morons? Even if he wrote it, who would want to read about daddy Hammer? Especially with a title like that! It sounds like some lame supermarket book by Ed Begley Jr.

If he wrote a book about dancing like a dope ass madman, or how to be Legit, I would read that shit in a quick second. But fatherhood? Was he trying to kill his career? Oh wait... right...

Anyway, you can't bleed a turnip, and Hammer's a bankrupt little genie man, so he probably won't be giving them any money any time soon.

If you're like me and you just love Hammer (I really do remember being just old enough to love Hammer Time) you can check out his blog (with a link to his twitter -- awesome!!). He calls his posts "Blasts"!!

OH HAMMER!